Friday, June 4, 2010

pure bride.

sometimes i wonder if it's lame or embarrassing that i am 19 and i've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed/never kissed. while so many of my peers have had numerous partners already in their life, i'm still chilling at numero zero.

usually it's only a fleeting thought though. this was a decision i made a long time ago, that whoever comes into my life and deserves to have that about me, to be the only person that i will have kissed, to hopefully be the man i will share my entire life with, will be the only person that i will have ever shared that with.

nowadays, with everything so temporary, living in the moment - act now, regret later - sort of mentality just doesn't cut it. i see too much hurt in living like that. the chase, the rejection, the rumors, going further than you ever thought you would in the heat of the moment. i protect myself, my purity, the sacredness of relationships, sex, intimacy, because i don't want to share something as personal and as special as that with anyone but the one. and yes, i totally believe in a "one" because i don't think God would give us a bunch to choose from and be like, "fend for yourself suckaaas". maybe the idea in my head that the person that i meet and date first will also be the last is wrong, maybe i will have to date a couple people, but honestly, i hope not. i am patiently waiting on the Lord to guide me to the right person. and maybe i won't meet him for a while, but i truly believe i will. and when i do, he will be receiving someone who has patiently waited for him, the right person, deserving of a whole person, a pure person.

and i don't just mean sexually: i'm talking emotionally as well.

this morning, going through my itunes library, trying to purge all the music i have never listened to and all the songs i probably won't ever listen to again, i stumbled upon leeland's pure bird and i had to just sit in God's silence and smile. i hope the Lord sees and understands my intentions. i hope that He will bless me with the desires of my hearts like it says in psalm 37:4:

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.

i didn't realize but itunes made a genius playlist from phil wickham and all the songs playing have truly warmed my heart this morning.

pure bride - leeland; soon - hillsong; beautiful king - danyew; remian - starfield; clinging to the cross - brooke fraser and tim hughes; beautiful jesus - kristian stanfill; you are - tenth avenue north; the first and the last - hillsong; unfalling love - jimmy needham




what a beautiful morning.

2 comments:

  1. such a good song!
    and such a good post

    thanks for this,
    it really encouraged me!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. your just so amazing and so encouraging!!
    i really admire and respect you allie

    Lydia

    ReplyDelete

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