lately i've been imagining myself cutting through thick jungles with a machete. at this point in my life, i have no idea how to use one but i just whack my way through the vines, hoping to not be violently confronted by dangers lurking on the other side; what surprises are there that i can't yet see.
this is a metaphor for my life.
it is literally a spiritual battle of good and evil inside. in this brokenness, and in this hot pursuit of holiness and falling in love with Jesus, i have been plagued with insignificant but overwhelming insecurities, with questions that don't really matter but that i feel i need an answer to, with doubts about my future, and distrust in what the greater purpose of this time in my life is. spiritually, it is like i am cutting away - with my machete, of course - these negative emotions, these insecurities, these questions that are separating me from moving on and separating me from the calling of God. i know once i get through the thick of it, i will stand in a great opening, wrapped and clothed in the blessing and purpose and life plan God has for me. but as i get there - slowly but surely - there is still much to cut away. i am tired. and i am weak sometimes. but i press on toward the goal. i want that freedom and i want to witness that beauty. i want to cut away the badness to get to the goodness. the oh-so goodness of God.