Tuesday, August 2, 2011

worth.

the last little while I have really been struggling with the idea of self-worth and the expression of love. not that I ever really invested my worth in what someone else thought of me or how someone treated me but I was plagued by thoughts and wondering of why other people seem to think I'm "worth it" while one very important person in my life seemed to think (or treated me) otherwise. it was eating me alive until my dear friends alyssa and kristy came by work one night while I was cleaning and together we stood outside (they're not allowed inside) chatting for over an hour. feeling so low at this time I was desperate for some time with my girlfriends who I know love and only want the best for. I guess my friends have also been learning about worth, but particularly how "worth it" you are to God and kristy encouraged me and gave me the idea to really pursue and discover how God loves and values me instead of overwhelming myself with why someone else doesn't. I later opened my study bible to find, lined out for me, my identity in Christ - all the things that God has called and made us to be.

i am chosen by God
ephesians 1:4 - "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. "

i am adopted by God
ephesians 1:5 - "In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will"

i am a child of God in His family
1 john 3:1 - "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him."

i am forgiven by God for all my sins
1 john 1:9 - "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

i am reconciled to God, in harmony with Him
romans 5:10 - "For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!"

i am seen by God as holy, blameless, above reproach
colossians 1:21,22 - "Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation"

i am sealed with God's Holy Spirit
ephesians 1:13 - "And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit"

i am called to accomplish God's purpose
romans 8:28,30 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified."

i am a full citizen among God's people
ephesians 2:19 - "you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household"

i am justified - declared right in God's sight
romans 5:1 - "since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ"

i am sanctified - set apart in God's sight
1 corinthians 6:11 - "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. "

i am redeemed - bought with Christ's blood
ephesians 1:7 - "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace"

i am cleansed by Christ's blood for all my sin
1 john 1:7 - "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

i am an heir of God and a joint-heir with Christ
romans 8:16-17 - "The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."

i am complete in Christ
colossians 2:10 - "and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority."

i am an ambassador for Christ
2 corinthians 5:20 - "We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God."

i am being conformed to the character of Christ
romans 8:29 - "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters."

it overwhelmed me to see it all written out for me because, as i've been mentioning, God has been so obvious and intentional throughout the past months that this is yet another clear way of how He is teaching me to trust, rely, find worth, love and affection based on His standards that have already been laid out verses what i may have thought i wanted or was "ideal". in another conversation with a friend, she suggested that God uses heartbreak - a time when we're most vulnerable - to really show us what He needs us to see and this couldn't be more true. as i come to accept more and more not to view this as failure, but as triumph and victory because not only did He set us free when Jesus died on the cross, but He is also releasing me from sadness and other negative feelings and into what i know and believe and trust is a spectacular plan for my life (which that was apart of - obviously - but i am learning that i had to learn invaluable lessons the hard way). it is incredible to feel, physically, spiritually feel, like i am in the midst of God's plan, like that He is deliberately and clearly moving in my life. even though the here and now is not always that easy, as i think way too much, but i have no doubt that God is going to make my dreams come true, take me the places i have longed to go, grant me the desires of my heart, bring a phenomenal man into my life who wants to put his arm around me, take me on adventures, be my very best friend, passionately pursue God with me, work hard, travel the world with me, and raise a big family with me. i try to think long term promises, that God is both an instantaneous god and a generational god - results could come now, results could come years from now. it's definitely humbling to not know, and it's definitely hard. but i want God's plans for my life more than i want my own. considering His vision is so much greater than what i can see, i can only imagine how limited my own dreams are in comparison to God's.

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