Thursday, November 3, 2011

from the men: a love letter.

[this post was taken from the good women project and was written by andy dew (check out his blog here!). this is a beautiful post about what love, intimacy, and relationships should look like, so i thought i would share. thank you for writing this andy! and thank you for sharing this good women project authour, lauren!)]

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Dear Good Woman,

I wanted to take time to let you know how much I value you as a woman.

So often, it’s hard for me to express these feelings face to face, but it’s not because I am a typical guy who cannot show his emotions. It is because the qualities I cherish most are so precious, I rarely even speak them out loud.

Our relationship started with surface things like our personalities meshing the right way, common interests, ect, but I have discovered that you posses the deeper things I hold out for. The beautiful attitudes I was made to protect, encourage, and eventually unite myself to in marriage. Parts of who you are seem so rare, almost impossible. I find it difficult to articulate what it means to “value you as a woman”, but I feel I must communicate my heart the best I can.

Your joy humbles me, your faith encourages me, and the way you hear from God inspires me.

Your joy comes from the understanding God has given you of how much he loves you. It is unique because it comes from God and flows with who he has made you to be. It transcends being “bubbly” or always positive. Your joy is authentic with an almost unsearchable depth to it. It confronts insecurities yet it remains gentle.

You know I sometimes struggle with self-pity. What you don’t know is that your joy naturally leaves no room for that.

I believe joy is really just being glad about God’s love for us. When I remember this simple (sometimes painful) truth, I realize there is no room for self-pity when receiving God’s love. Self-pity then, is drowned out with the gentle embrace of God’s grace. You help me to know God more, just by being yourself. To me, this is true relationship, that we might mutually encourage one another to know God more individually, and grow in our love and appreciation for one another.

Your faith is childlike, which sometimes can be misdiagnosed as foolish. Authentic faith can’t be exercised without sometimes looking foolish.

I want to speak purity over you and your faith. The other day, I got three mosquito bites on our walk together. You prayed God would heal those annoying bites. It might have looked silly or foolish, but I’ll never forget laughing and rejoicing with you an hour later when the bites were completely gone. Whether it’s God healing a mosquito bite, a broken bone, or a deeply rooted insecurity, your faith encourages my faith. It’s a reminder that God is active and he loves us so much. He cares about our prayers and the desires of our heart.

The way you hear from God inspires me because again, it is unique to you. You go after what He says and don’t worry about it fitting the perfect mold.

You know you do not have to compromise to increase your chances of finding or keeping a man. Your self worth is wrapped up in countless words of affirmation from your heavenly Father, despite the verbal abuse heaped on you by your earthly father. I love that you tell me exciting things God is telling you, not because you think I’ll value you more, but because you trust me. You seem to trust God’s word and his voice, no matter what he is saying. Honestly that can be scary at times, but it is ultimately reassuring.

Like myself, you are not perfect. That’s the beauty of all this. The more we admit we don’t have it all together and don’t try to pretend like we do, the more God’s redeeming power can break through. Long before me, you told God for specific reasons that you could not be with a man who ever looks at pornography. For the past four years, God has been overwhelmingly faithful to me in freedom from pornography.

I used to fear coming off as self-righteous in declaring God’s redemptive work in me, but then I realized it was very important to you, and many times encouraging to others. Thank you for calling out God’s redemptive work in my life. I find myself being more other-focused around you which is rare in any kind of relationship. I thank God for you and feel blessed to know you. As our relationship is lain before God, I have joy because he holds the best for both of us no matter what.

check out the good women project!

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