Friday, November 11, 2011

to the girl who's tired of waiting.

[this post was written by blogger will darden. it was shared by many of the other blogs i frequent like laurennicolelove and ally spotts, but i thought i'd just share will's beautiful post, addressed to all the women out there looking for a "good man", reassuring them that he - and others like him - is out there. don't lose hope! don't forfeit your values, morals, standards because you can't find one. take comfort in God's faithful promises, that He will provide, and take will's blog post as an encouragement to help you through!]


I want to live a good love story.

I think most people do. I know girls do for sure, and I’m more and more certain guys do as well.

Living a good love story is the reason I write letters to the woman I’ll marry one day.
It’s why I’ve talked about what I am most looking forward to about tying the knot.

I’m a romantic at heart. Despite having never been in a relationship (well, unless you decide to count 7th grade) I still eagerly await the day I’ll meet my bride-to-be.

I enjoy silly love songs, watch sappy music videos, and write little poems on occasion. Not all the time though… I really promise I’m not that weird!

It’s not a secret that I’ve chosen not to have sex until my wedding night. I wear a ring on my finger that I simply refuse to call a “purity ring”. That sounds lame as hell. I call it my commitment ring. It’s a promise to me and to everyone else that my wife, whoever she may be, matters to me enough to affect my life right now.

And I’m holding out for a girl who shares the same feelings I do about marriage. I honestly believe (and fervently pray!) there’s at least one out there.

So when I read the following statement that Lauren Dubinsky, a writer I admire, recently shared, my heart broke.

In her words:
“Women are giving up on being the good woman they’ve been striving towards, because they’ve stopped believing the good men are out there. Translated: Women are embracing sex before marriage because they’ve stopped believing there are men who will wait for them.”

Read that again. I know this certainly doesn’t speak for all girls, but it sadly speaks for a majority.

Guys, it looks like the girls are selling out.

If I may be selfish for a moment, consider this… I’m trying to muster all the self-control in the world to keep my stupid hormones in check, and there are girls out there that have given up on ever finding guys like me.

Here I am making an effort to set up safeguards, build relationships with guys who hold me accountable, and wrestle temptation to the ground every single freaking day… and the girls have left the race!

Now, certain people would read this and call me a traditionalist. A man stuck living in a reality that was long ago (or perhaps never existed) where committed, unconditional love was important and worthy of respect.

I’m not necessarily writing this for you.

But, I can’t help but imagine there’s a girl out there that is going through the same series of events that I am.

You’re surrounded by friends who have basically given the middle finger to modesty, and you’re not even sure if it matters what you wear anymore.

You’re convinced (but not all the time) that there’s a guy out there waiting for you, but then you give up hope when you hear the awful “Everyone’s doing it” line.

You watch silly love stories, gush over wedding photos, mutter an “awwww…” every time you see a cute old couple holding hands in the park…

And you think to yourself… “I want what they have.”

If you’re bold, you might even say it. And if you’re crazy, you may even believe you have a chance at finding it.

And if you think I’m waiting on sex because I’m worried about breaking an ancient rule, you’re missing the point. I suck at following rules! I wouldn’t last three days worrying about not crossing a certain line.

I’m holding out for my wife because the relationships built on committed, unconditional love are the ones that withstand the test of time.

I’m holding out for my wife because I know that every time I give myself to another girl, I’m robbing the wife I was meant to spend the rest of my life with of that piece of my heart.

So I urge you…

Keep waiting.
Keep praying.
Keep trusting.
Keep believing…

Because one day you’ll meet the guy you were meant for all along, and he’ll take your breath away.

At least I hope he does. Some guys are just duds, if I’m being honest.

And guys, if you made it all the way to the end of this, you’re more awesome than the guys that jumped ship when they saw the sappy picture.

Let’s show our girls they’re worth the wait.
Let’s make an effort to be bolder about our commitment to stand out.
Let’s join the ranks of so many who have found true life in keeping their promises.

If waiting on sex makes us a little weird, I’m okay with that.

Normal doesn’t seem to be working too well anyway.

With respect,



  1. I agree. I enjoyed my waiting season. It gets weary but giving up was not an option.

    It's true. It is sooo worth it!

  2. I love this! It's refreshing and inspiring to hear it from a male point of view.


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