Wednesday, November 14, 2012

new space!

hi friends!

well it's TWO MONTHS until i leave for australia, and with that in mind, i have launched a new blog - with new personal expectations, a slightly different look, and, in 2013, a new location!

you can find it right now at ::

but soon it will be taking over this domain - - so it will be easier to find then.

if you're into it, become a "follower". add it to your bookmarks, whatever you do. i plan on getting back into blogging a bit as - and i explain this on the new site - this blog was starting to feel more weighty than it should. 

the facebook page for this site will remain alive so we can continue sharing neat articles, new music, and other fun things. if you haven't already "liked" that page, you can do so in the sidebar or by going here

thank you for taking the time in the past to read my words and encourage me with comments in the past. this blogging community has been such a blessing. now, as i move on to other things, i am wanting a fresher space to share of my adventures and lessons.

i hope you'll come on over and join this ride!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

the story of the parking ticket.

i'm blogging over at darling companion today. it is such a blessing to be in a blogging community with so many wonderful, talented, God-loving women! find them on facebook, and read the blog here!

It's 7:43 when I open my eyes: 17 minutes until class starts. I quite literally launch out of bed. Wash face. Throw on last night's clothes. Do a little this, a little that with the makeup. Rush downstairs and grab a granola bar; I'll eat breakfast on break.
I'm in the car, flying down the highway, when I realize I have no change for parking and no cash to make change.

I'm 12 minutes late, but what can I do at this point. I sat in class and laugh about the wildness of my morning, of how on every other day I manage to get up at 5am just fine, but today I get a bit of a sleep-in by accident and everything's out of whack.

And that parking ticket. I know it's not going to be a lot of money, but wouldn't it be nice today if, since it's so early in the morning, they just didn't do their rounds. Wouldn't it be nice if they were just gracious and didn't bother checking the meters?

Then it dawned on me: maybe I should pray about this. I believe in a loving God, in a God who likes to bless in both BIG and small ways and while this was definitely small, it still mattered to me, and because of that I believe it mattered to Him.

read the rest of the story here!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

this is amazing grace.

i want to cultivate a heart of thankfulness and thanksgiving. i often feel grateful, but how often do i actually express that to a Most High God?

i've been astounded lately at how Jesus was HUMAN. just like you and i. we could have reached out and touched Him. driven with Him in the passenger seat, sat across the table at starbucks with Him, gone on walks by the water with Him. that is INCREDIBLE. of course, i knew He was human, but just recently did i really think about what that looked like. and it broke me.

as my favourite song says,

why would a King do such a thing?

i was looking around the train a few days ago, at the blank, melacholic faces. making up stories about them that i shouldn't, but i do. and wondering how they felt about their lives. and i have to catch myself a lot in transit because i often become overwhelmed by the sublimity of.. just life. in it's simplicity. not that life is simple. but that moment was. we're all just sitting on the train waiting for it to stop where we're to get off.

but then it struck me: some, maybe a lot, maybe most, of these people, have no idea that there is a God out there who loves them like crazy! who doesn't want harm for them - no sickness, no pain, no loss, no sorrow - but a beautiful life of abundance that only comes through Him.

for believers, sometimes it becomes our best kept secret. we get it [some better than others perhaps] but it's easier not to share. it gets too messy, too complicated. the world hates religion and a lot of the world specifically hates christians - and in many ways, who can blame them! - and a lot of people have been hurt by these christians and these churches. but God is not messy or complicated.

complex perhaps, and that's something we all have to surrender - any idea that we could figure Him out - but not complicated. and i wish i knew a way to tell that whole train full of people just how much they are loved. and how much the are worth!

worth a King becoming nothing to die. for them. that's a whole lotta worth!

but since i'm not courageous (or obedient!?) enough to say it aloud to everyone on their commute home, He gave me a different outlet instead. pretty quickly i found myself on stage at youth telling that room packed with high school kids just how wonderful they are. and how loved they are by the Creator of the Universe. what a beautiful relief it is to say that out loud!

but you know what the coolest thing about all this is? i will never know what those words meant to each individual in that room, but i know His name has power to change lives and i believe He is working out big things in those small, but important, lives.

thank you Lord that You continue to always be working in us. thank you Lord, that despite a society and culture so against You, You have already won, You already have victory.

Lord, thank You that You love us so much that You gave up all glory, power, riches, wealth, and glory to be a human like us. to live in a household, to just do life, to be an example to us, to bring such a great, tangible hope.

what other King lives His throne? what other King leaves His glory to die?
this is amazing grace.

Jesus i sing for all that You've done for me.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

the look and stare: the power of thoughts.

it's been a while sweet friends!

i haven't written here in so long, but i'm excited to share with you:
my first guest post/contribution over at a beautiful new blog, darling companion!

as life changes and stuff happens and lessons are learned, something i always come back to is the power of thoughts. i've written about it here before, but i shared a bit more on darling companion in my post. you can read that here!

Have you ever found yourself planning, or dreaming about, specific details of your wedding after meeting your "future husband" only minutes before? Or have you ever rejected a nice guy because he didn't fit what you thought he should look or be like before he even asked you out?! All of these scenarios rob someone else of something that wasn't yours to take in the first place, something they weren't giving you.

i strongly suggest you check out the beautiful posts on the blog and on their facebook page! their passion is to create a space that is "Godly, Creative, Uplifiting" - that is definitely a mantra i can align myself with!

thank you lauren [and co] for inviting me to be apart of this fantastic project!

Monday, September 10, 2012

let it go.

these days i don't have a lot of words. or i do, but not for here. every time i sit down to write something it never sounds as eloquent or interesting or funny as i want it to. so i just stop. delete. hope to be able to come back next time with something more adequate.

i wrote a post a couple weeks ago -maybe even a month ago- about, ultimately, feeling lonely. well, i guess what i'm seeing now is it's not so much "lonely" as it is "lost". who am i. and if i'm really being honest, this girl who always did sort of think she had it all together, and felt pretty secure, is now seeing, she's actually really insecure. and that freaks me out. and i'm in a season of figuring out my worldly identity - who i am to others, how i am, and does it even matter?

the thing is, i know who i am in Christ. and it's the best thing ever [can i get an amen!?] but i still have to be in the world, and that's where my confusion and insecurity comes in. in the world but not of the world.

i want to be the things people say about me, i want others to see the "real" me: to know my passions, to see my dreams, desires, to understand my heartbreak for the world. i want to be known. i want to talk about things other than politics and go deeper. i want to stop voting and just start doing. i don't want people to be insulted when i fight for the sacredness of monogamous marriage, or desire to protect the bodies of people who give it away freely, and painfully. i want to share my heartbeat for the ten 7 year olds that i spent yesterday morning laughing with. but no one asks, and no one really seems to care.

i guess these lessons are why i'm where i am. coz, Lord, i'm humbled. so humbled. i've never felt so small.

and on top of these realizations, i have a big decision to make. and i know what i want to do, but is it what the Lord wants me to do?! [i hope so ha!]

AND THEN, to add to it all, am i being faithless by wanting to control my schedule; by working more than maybe i should to make money, because i asked God for money for the future and i haven't been the wisest saver, so i keep working. but then am i trying to manipulate how He will provide? because i believe He will. no doubt in my mind. i guess i don't much like not having an active role in it. but that's something i have yet to really figure out or understand either.

anyways... that's me for you.

i thought i'd share this song - it's from jesus culture's emerging voices album. and i'm really liking it. good stuff. plus, how appropriate is that song name: let it go.

let go, and let God...

[even writing that song title in the title bar felt releasing... it's funny how it's so so so hard to let something(s) go, but in the past, we know how amazing it's felt.]

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

never once.

never once did we ever walk alone,
never once did You leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God, You are faithful.
a year ago, i stumbled into a church one sunday afternoon and heard this song for the first time. then, i was in a million pieces. heart broken. wrecked. confused. lost. on a never-stopping emotional rollercoaster with ever-evolving turns and swoops and loops. and i hate coasters. it was during the singing of this very song then that i realized i had found exactly what i was looking for.

but i also recognized, maybe wholly for the first time, the truth of those lyrics.
never once... did i ever walk alone.
i always think of that footprints poem: how you can be walking with the Lord so tangibly at one moment, and then when crisis arises, feel so absolutely alone and abandoned. yet once you're out of that crisis season, you realize how much more present and tangible God was then, as if He was carrying you instead.

even though the first time i heard this song, i was in shambles, and fully in my season of "crisis", i knew i needed to hang on to the truth that, even when i can't feel it or don't think it, He is still with me. [thank you Jesus!]

this sunday, we sang that song again. but this time i saw the full circle. how from that first encounter, just a year ago, to where i am now, because of that church, which is because of that song, i am a new person. a new creation. and how appropriate, that my other song love from that particular church is a song written by the worship leader than, saying,
He is making all things new,
You are making all things new.
it's easy to forget where we came from as we continue our journey through new, different, varying seasons. but i'm so thankful for those goosebumpy moments, like the one this weekend, when i am reminded of all that He has done for me. all that He does. all He did before.

the amount of healing that has gone on because of that church - i attribute much of it to that community, oh boy! - is... astounding. how rad is it to enter into a place randomly and find yourself there months later but renewed, and redeemed, and all kinds of other "re-" words.

what a good, faithful God we serve.
He is making all things new,
You are making all things new.